Opinion: The Halloween "Parent Tax" is Unjustified
October 26, 2017 — Costumed travelers door-to-door on a crisp-aired eve of delight.
Gifts of sweets multiply and land into pillowcases, satchels, and my basket.
But the spookiest thing of all? A shriek from a casket? No, withdrawal.
The "Parent Tax", and why it is wrong:
And this is a poem, as there are few good Halloween songs.
All these sweets were a gift, I didn’t do much in return.
A ‘trick or treat’ greeting is not full consideration, regardless of how much candy I have earned.
Kind souls who gave me candy have already paid taxes that represent a proportion of their wage.
That was extremely nice,
And they should have to give far more than this for taxes to be levied twice.
I further shouldn’t have candy taxed if I share some,
As I promised that the donors' capital contributions would be repaid with profits,
And that agreement can’t be undone.
Had a friend made a candy loan and a debt went unpaid,
You just may have a case for deferring some weight,
But could I interest you in an orange lollipop? Or maybe a Pennsylvanian chocolate drop?
This candy has me feeling dandy, and whilst I feed I fulfill a need,
So crowdfunded donations without a return of equity is a tax from which I should be freed.
What, then is the basis for this Parent Tax?
Please enjoy instead some parent snacks, like Middle Eastern fruit units of force or tomato bisque.
I’m in no hurry to put my candy at risk.